There have been a few themes running through my head, like hamsters on never-ending wheels, like a tape replaying in a loop. One is the whole concept of the tide always changes. What goes up must come down, and vice versa. The yin and yang of life. What everyone has said is true: things will … Continue reading Shifting
Its interesting, when one looks back, how each season of your life has a taste, a specific flavor. A song jolts the epitome of the time period, the way "Wildflowers" or "Everybody Hurts" can take me immediately back to my teenage self, full of innocence and fierce wanting of things that had no name and … Continue reading Unfuckwithable
It has been 33 months since my life went from one world to another. 33 months since PC announced his affair, his proclamation that he was leaving me, and the start of his insanity. It's been 33 months that have included verbal harassment, threats, lies, court dates, multiple contempts-of-custody on his part, a PFA, a … Continue reading Karma, Take a Bow…
Last year, I touched on a subject that really has nothing (everything) to do with being married to and divorcing a narcissist. Its something I never, ever talk about. I briefly peeled back a curtain to write about this in The Great Divide and my therapist has slowly but surely walked me over the coals in … Continue reading Silence Is Golden (Not Really, But…)
The Never-Ending Story is a great movie. Its also how I feel about the PC-part of my life right now. Or its like Groundhog's Day (also a great movie)...as though I'm stuck in some loop and every now and then I circle around and crash into PC and his insanity. Insanity is not a strong … Continue reading The Never-Ending Story
I said, the other day, Something's brewing with PC. Its too quiet. Don't let him get in your head, my friends said. But he was in my head. I just have a gut feeling, I said. And as I've learned, ignoring said gut feelings can have devastating consequences. The thing with narcissists is that they never really … Continue reading The Predictability of Unpredictability
Yesterday, while at lunch with the Reckless Friends, I was asked So, what's new? I responded with a Well girls, I think I need to figure out my life. They immediately sat up straight and leaned forward. Tell us more. What's going on? And this is how my brain feels lately: There's a lot that can … Continue reading Focus, Or Lack Thereof
No, not that Royal Wedding, although we can all take a moment to appreciate the beauty of Meghan Markle (Harry's not so bad either...) As of late, the days were leading up to another wedding, one that has been a long time coming, as PC repeatedly informed me. He had a lot of specific requests in … Continue reading The Royal Wedding
For a long time, much of my life I would venture to say, I believed in this. I believed in the good in people. I believed that even flawed people are inherently good at heart, the way a destructive thunderstorm still replenishes the earth; the way a long winter grows appreciation for summer. PC did … Continue reading The Truth Always Trumps the Lie
When 8 women gather at the beach, topics of conversation can range from the highly humorous to the deep, raw details of life. From the mundane discussions of cooking and exercise to the whimsical and rhetorical talks of people and love. And dreams. Specifically, this dream discussion began with the underlying tone of "recurring nightmares". … Continue reading The Power of Self-Control
